Kings, Queens, and Hard Times On Planet Earth

If you wonder that times are hard here on Earth, a news report from The Washington Post today paints an interesting picture. It is a picture of pitiful irony actually, as Britain’s royals fan at the fires of economic disaster. Queen and country are no where near sharing the burden of a shattered economy, though the spin doctors would have you believe so.

In a preemptive measure to thwart criticism of royal expenditures, Britain’s royalty set out in 2009 to spin up a dreadful tale of belt tightening, suffering on a scale unheard of – at least for the privileged.  Cuts in expenditures, Queen Elizabeth II scampering about Buckingham Palace, turning out lights, salary freezes, even cutting back on bodyguards for small children – what nobility. What utter madness.

According to the poppycock, the queen is taking measures seriously (choking sounds) freezing salaries for royal servants who earn more than 90 percent of the people in England. Anyone who makes over $73,500 will have to make due. On top of that, and this measure simply has to rub her majesty wrong, some of her 1,400 member staff will simply have to go – including the royal piper (who awakens her each morning by playing outside her window) – and of course – the royal counter of swans. Yes, hard times have fallen on the mighty too. Whatever will the Imperial donothings of the world do with uncounted swans fluttering about?

There is no need to go into greater detail about the Queen’s (or her bidders’) gesticulation here. Reducing official parties, but increasing the budget for. Pay cuts accepted by multi-millionaire staffers, Lords retreating to fort Apache and limited provisions of hand maidens and Aston Martins. Good God.  Queen Elizabeth II is possibly the wealthiest woman on Earth, a person of almost incalculable personal wealth. Just the personal estates she and her relatives own, cannot easily be estimated – has anyone ever tried? She could easily fund her own adventures – those of her children – and never feel the slightest pain. Well, except those infernal light bills maybe.

All anyone has to do is read the literature (PDF) of the UK government to make a chilling discovery. Like government in the United States and elsewhere, Britain forms a task force or committee at the drop of the hat, but acts in concern for the people like a crippled sloth.

A slew of research and measurement going on, predicts or outlines what the Queen looking out the limousine window could easily forecast. This may indicate this, that may indicate that – when living the age old life of medieval privileged, colonial deprivation, has told the tale of royalty for Centuries. And some thought the world departed from this long ago.

A last note, on an otherwise distasteful journey through nasty nostalgia. Democracy failing us all as it has, a good king may be the only real answer – but alas there is still no such monarch in sight. I used to respect Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Charles, and one by one they all demonstrate what is wrong with the world.

A chest full of meaningless medals, worn by Mussolini or Prince Charles (upper left), even American generals in search of so called “fruit salad” are so indicative. Prince Charles’ naval campaigns for example, consisted of commanding a mahogany coastal minesweeper HMS Bronington, from the bridge of which he no doubt hunted Red October.

Even Hitler himself chose to wear only his battle earned Iron Cross when appearing with Mussolini (left). General George Patton (shown upper right), conversely, never accepted a salary earning his medals for country – he supported himself on his family’s wealth.

When all is said and done, Britain would be as well served by more icy statues in the parks – at least those legends insult us far less. What a travesty. Royalty is not a birthright someone said, but something earned of respect and deeds. Maybe it is time for a big change in Britain?

As a final epitaph, maybe we should look to another Brit for guidance on such things.

Better not to be at all Than not to be noble –
Lord Alfred Tennyson