It’s easy to be a beauty queen when you have fake hair – I should know, my fake fur won me a number of national and international sheep awards, but never one that gave me such a big crown as this year’s Miss America Teresa Scanlan gets to wear. It wouldn’t fit my personality anyway. I much prefer cowboy hats. So while I understand the hard work and dedication involved in taking care of your (fake) fur, I cannot really get it why a beauty pageant has a talent competition no one seems to take into consideration when choosing the winner.
And speaking of cowboy hats and talent, I’m here to crown Miss Arkansas Alyse Eady as Miss America 2011 of my heart. Who wouldn’t? Beautiful, talented, and fun, looking, to me, more real than Miss Nebraska’s pasty wig, Alyse Eady blew my mind.
You have to see what I saw to understand. I know you bipeds think sheep are usually stupid. Well, you know what? Those peeps in the Miss America 2011 judging panel are sheep for not selecting this beauty to represent their county. This lady truly represents the American spirit in my view, as she gracefully smiles, moves, and yes, sings.
I give you a taste of what this lady looked like in the past: you’ll hear her sing, see her dance, and even hear an interview after she won the Miss Arkansas pageant last year. But first, see the wig that stole the Miss America 2011 show. I don’t want to be that mean to Miss Nebraska Teresa Scanlan, but damn, girl, what was wrong with your natural hair? Besides, in spite of the fair hair, the lady doesn’t sound that bright, as she ends the video below, a mere infomercial for fake hair.
And now, the cowboy sweetheart, Miss Arkansas, Alyse Eady, ladies and gents. If she doesn’t blow your mind, I don’t know what will. Give that girl a crown, she really deserves it!
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