As you probably already know, Starbucks has recently announced a bold branding move – eliminating the words Starbucks coffee from their “iconic” two-tailed starry-crowned kinky mermaid. Naturally, this unexpected marketing/branding/PR move puzzled many media illuminates. Fortunately, we have obtained an exclusive statement from Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, explaining more than enough:
“We could enumerate many goof reasons for the change, one of which many experts have already guessed: 2010 was a bad sales year for Starbucks. But coffee is again hot this season, so no worries there. However, we have received an offer we couldn’t refuse from Hilo Fish, which will provide all fish specialties for our restaurants from now on. Also, to further broaden our sales spectrum, we will be selling Girl Scouts cookies under the Starbucks brand. And to be honest, the decision was also briefly influenced by a brief partnership with Absolut vodka.”
While a Hilo Fish – Starbucks partnership is not really news (unless they make fish-flavored coffee from now on), the new Girl Scout cookies signed Starbucks have a lot of potential – after all, nothing goes better with coffee (or tea) than cookies.
An extensive PR and social media campaign has already been planned, to promote this extraordinary strategy. In charge of PR, former BP CEO Tony Hayward, whose career path seems to head towards sweeter shores – although he still seems to have a calling for dark waters.
And this is what happens with confused Starbucks customers, for one reason or another.