Late Nite News, Everyone From Expedia to Chelsea Handler Gets Plugged

Chelsea Handler

Well, with all the excitement over Expedia’s untold millions and someone unplugging their “one little server” today, the bosses left me alone in the office once again. Hah. I bet they went to the village pub to get soused again. Well, they are not along, this sheep got high. Yes, I ate candy again. So, here goes with today’s Sheepy wrap up. Read fast, I may come down at any moment.

If Expedia’s power outage ALL OVER THE WORLD is not enough excitement, then 57 year old Annette Edwards wanting to look like Jessica Rabbit should amp up your reading tolerance.  You read right, the British grandma spent $16, 00o dollars to be the voluptuous cartoon lady from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Who could blame her, even sheep would like to be heeled like Jessica. And then Google went down too – or not.

Jessica RabbitWell, the bosses have been on Google all-day-long reporting stuff to Google News, so if the Internet behemoth went astray it must have just been at Gather, the main ones reporting it. Hah.  Maybe Gather got unplugged along with Expedia. Then more money news from Money, where something called DNDN, and its little offspring Provenge, some kind of immune thingy, made some more millionaires out of the company’s stockholders.

What did sell for $3 bucks a while back climbed to over $45 dollars a share today. Good news for stock buying peeps and for men suffering from prostate cancer. This is a good thing. On to sex tapes of course, and news of a Chelsea Handler sex tape. Whoopie.

Chelsea HandlerChelsea Handler evidently supposedly made the sex tape as a joke, but somehow I think she is not smiling today. Radar Online (what a ragg-acchoo) broke this story after probably watching the ancient history tape for hours.  If you can get past all the internal links to drive up time on site at Radar, there is some information about the illicit movie the standup comic says she shows all the time. If aging comedienne sex frolicking are not wetting your whistle, there is the case of Tonya Craft – need I go here?

Tonya Craft, the classy lady charged with 22 counts of child molestation has a super duper defense team determined to see her case is not decided by public opinion. Boy do they have their job cut out. We’ll see on that one, it looks 50-50 to the sheep attorney. Then the Gulf of Mexico oil spill is still floating around (sorry that is what they do isn’t it?) in the news.

Today reports suggest that the original estimate of a leak of 1ooo gallons of oil per day, may in fact be 5 times that amount. My question is, how do you count floating oil? Then the US Coast Guard reported there seems to be oil coming from some other source too. Did someone punch holes in something they were not supposed to? Then the story that takes the cake. Mayberry theft reveals how far America has sunk.

Betty Lou LynnBetty Lou Lynn, the lady who played Thelma Lou, you know Barney Fife’s girlfriend on the Andy Griffith Show, was robbed in the very town that inspired Griffith’s Mayberry. Now if that is not a sign of the times – an omen – I am not covered in fluffy fur. If they shot in Mayberry these days Deputy Fife would have had to have been Arnold Schwarzenegger. Can you imagine? I bet he would have a loaded gun.

So, there you have it, the Sheepy recap for Thursday, April  29, 2010. Someone unplugged Expedia, a grandma plugged Jessica Rabbit some more, Chelsie Handler got plugged on tape, a jury will decide about Tonya Craft and any plugging, the US Coast Guard cannot figure out who or what to plug, and Thelma Lou should have plugged that nasty purse snatcher with Barney’s gun.

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