DUI Is Good for Business – The David Cassidy Moment of the Day

DUI everything-prIt’s been a while since we heard of David Cassidy, and the younger generation hardly knows the star of The Partridge Family. He was of pop culture’s most celebrated teen idol back in the 1970s, but today he only makes the headlines for driving under influence… or so it seems. Never mind, why. This is good for business. Keith Partridge is back.

DUI is important, I tell you. CBS reports it, and that’s not just another tabloid. It’s gotta be serious. If you look at the featured image (courtesy CBS) Cassidy looks like a depiction from Night of the Living Dead… See that sheepish look? That’s the look that tells you, my fellow quadrupeds, that DUI is good for business. Imagine the publicity: former star of the 70s meets Florida Highway Patrol in a 2008 Mercedes. Really, dude? 2008? Didn’t they recall those already? Oh, wait, that was Toyota. Or Nissan. Or BMW. Never mind.

But David, who’s never been arrested for anything in his life, strikes back. Now that the media is paying attention, he has his rep talking to no other than the tabloid masters who broke the news in the first place: TMZ. (Little pieces of broken glass on the news floor. Watch your paws.)

“He would never jeopardize anyone on the road and he would not have been driving had he not had to go to a funeral … he’s never been arrested in his life before for anything,” Jo-Ann Geffen, told TMZ.

Poor David Cassidy didn’t drive drunk. He just took a pain killer to ease his back pain. Considering how many I engorge a day, I should have all my licenses revoked… Yet, somehow, I still manage to drive everything from Harleys to shuttles… But that’s another story.

But the former teen idol is right. He was arrested for a reason that appears at least obscure: a half empty bottle of bourbon in his vehicle. If you want to read the highly compelling police report, TMZ has it for you. Now that’s what I call entertainment. Sheepy out.

Editor’s note:
Sheepy writes satirical editorials. Everything PR has not power over the sheep, and can not edit, modify, delete or otherwise censor Sheepy materials. If you want to post a comment, do it at your own risk, and always remember that you will be, in fact, talking to a sheep.

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